a war of thoughts

I’m my own worst enemy. 

More often than I care to admit, “I can’t decide,” gains foothold over, “I can make this decision.” 

Yet, I've witnessed a beautiful truth -- heightened awareness let's me turn the tide. Instead of simply accepting defeat, I can catch myself in the act. I hear that negative voice and now proceed to counter it boldly. It's liberating to see how much that action changes the flow of my hour or day.

I'm guessing you too would say a battle is being fought in your head. The question is -- which voice do you offer the reigns of control?

stay focused

Don’t fall into that deadly trap – widening your audience “just a bit more.”

Don’t keep generalizing your message and website copy in the hopes you may catch a few more folks.

Why?

Your widening actions taint your words. You’ll lose your initial, ideal target because you no longer speak directly to that person anymore. In fact, you’re too general to specifically resonate with much of anyone.

Better idea: Write to that one ideal person you see in your mind. Stick to what will move them. Write so that the ideal can actually find you. Don’t worry about the rest.

defy the fear

There’s that moment – when it all hits you square in the face. You see – the only thing stopping you is fear.

Pause for a moment. Think of all the things you haven’t done because you are afraid.

Got ‘em?

Now tell me – what if you didn’t listen to fear? What would your life look like then? Are there legit, amazing things that you’ve let pass by because… you’re afraid?

Right now, what's one thing fear is holding you back from?

Got it?

Now... go do just that.

the safest bet

When weighing options, do you find yourself seeking the safest bet?

The safest bet certainly has its perks. It is, after all, the most secure solution. That safe bet will guarantee safe results – stable and expected.

However, if you’re after something truly remarkable that makes a few waves, the safest bet is your suicide. It dooms you to ordinary, unremarkable results.

When you seek the truly extraordinary, your best bet is to break the norm. That sort of path lies uncomfortably far from the safest bet. Those who dare venture there are the very ones that reap rare, remarkable rewards.

perspective

Flipping the pages of my journal from recent months, I came across a little list I'd crafted – bits of advice, wisdom and perspective from my projected older self.

I highly recommend taking a few minutes to imagine what your older self might wish to say to your current self. It delivers a healthy dose of perspective.

Here’s what I jotted down:

• Enjoy this present moment.
• Spend as much time as you can with your family.
• Take time off.
• Take advantage of your youth and health.
• Go to the event, new destination or place of interest.
• Don’t worry about what everyone else thinks.
• Be vulnerable, and let down the walls.
• Don’t belabor every little decision.
• Color outside the lines.
• Don’t save endlessly for someday – it is now.
• Observe the “Sabbath,” and embrace rest regularly.
• Don’t worry; God always provides.
• Do what you love with the people you love.
• Be flexible, and open yourself up to adventure.
• Speak with positivity, and encourage others.

dependence

Dependence is not a word that gets much love these days. It’s cousin independence? That’s who gets the press.

Our culture loudly esteems independence as a noble quality. To be strong and valuable is to be able to stand on our own without help from anyone else. But, within that mindset, we overlook independence’s downfall – estrangement from connection.

“One of the greatest barriers to connection is the cultural importance we place on going it alone. Somehow we’ve come to equate success with not needing anyone.” 

- Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

The truth is – I’ve fallen prey to that trap. I’ve seen myself adopt the mentality that I need to prove to myself and to others that I can do this thing called life on my own.

Yet, I’ve quickly found that’s total B.S. I do need others. I can’t do this alone. My darkest days are those where I try to do everything myself and keep life within the narrow bounds of my own control.

The best days? They’re marked by dependence and being vulnerable enough to trust others and journey closely with them.

So, I believe it’s high time we knock independence off its cultural throne and start praising the sort of dependence that cultivates connection.

[photo: maui]

thoughts

Our thoughts are sort of a big deal. The stories we hold in our minds shape our reality.

For instance, I can be controlled by thoughts like: I haven’t accomplished enough today. I’ve squandered way too much time doing XYZ.

That kind of negativity quickly gives way to: I’m wasting my life. The rest of this day is now a total loss too.

Hold up! How do thoughts like these produce positive growth or fuel creative momentum?

They don’t.

In fact, this line of thought is actually detrimental to those positive processes. So, each time my thoughts run away in that negative direction, I’m striving to halt them before they gain too much steam. I actively must choose to replace them with words that are marked by self-compassion – I am enough no matter what I accomplish. Opportunity lies ahead.

Why? Those very thoughts shape our reality, for the better or the worse, and I’d much rather see positive progress result. Wouldn’t you?