life

I went to a funeral today for my high school psychology teacher, a truly brilliant woman whose years were far too short. Absorbing and reflecting upon all the words spoken about her, it was amazingly clear that she did not waste a moment of her time and influence while alive. She touched so many lives with a genuine and unique love; she challenged each person she met to strive to be the very best person they could be.

I am reminded that life is a temporary, precious thing. Each moment has unmatched power before it passes away. But, I forget this far too often. I’ll let a moment pass in insignificance and promise myself that the moments of tomorrow will be more important, never pausing to wonder what happens if tomorrow doesn’t come.

In the midst of terrible tragedy, I’m grateful for the reminder to be more fully alive while I walk this earth. I must spread love more readily… not a common, shallow love that merely scratches the surface but a genuine love full of meaning, power and depth.

in pursuit

I’m back in a place so familiar and yet it’s so unexpectedly foreign. The place may not have changed much at all, but I certainly have. Living in L.A. the past four years transformed me. My perspective and sense of spirituality look nothing like they used to. There now lives within me a desire to risk; it comes knocking each day delivering a sense of discontent and will not surrender. And, frankly it drives me crazy and scares the crap out of me. It's at odds with the sense of control I crave in life.

I don’t know precisely where these thoughts and emotions will lead me. They've been surfacing for quite some time now, and their persistence and strength astound me. The way may be full of monumental change or smaller fragments of change, but whatever the case, I know I can’t spend my life wading in the comfortable patterns of society. I cannot settle for the life I can control with my own hands. To truly feel alive requires courage and faith beyond myself. Down the path of uncertainty is a life worth pursuing.