I’m back in a place so familiar and yet it’s so unexpectedly foreign. The place may not have changed much at all, but I certainly have. Living in L.A. the past four years transformed me. My perspective and sense of spirituality look nothing like they used to. There now lives within me a desire to risk; it comes knocking each day delivering a sense of discontent and will not surrender. And, frankly it drives me crazy and scares the crap out of me. It's at odds with the sense of control I crave in life.
I don’t know precisely where these thoughts and emotions will lead me. They've been surfacing for quite some time now, and their persistence and strength astound me. The way may be full of monumental change or smaller fragments of change, but whatever the case, I know I can’t spend my life wading in the comfortable patterns of society. I cannot settle for the life I can control with my own hands. To truly feel alive requires courage and faith beyond myself. Down the path of uncertainty is a life worth pursuing.
