from fallen fragments

And I sat there watching intently,
My eyes locked on to each grain of sand.
One by one they slipped effortlessly through my grasp.
All the while I pressed forth
Fighting to clench my fists ever tighter.
But the momentum of the particles
Lay outside my reign of control it seemed.
The power to make it all stop
Was beyond the determined spirit within me.

And now I wonder,
As I glance with pain upon the scattered pieces,
Is there a way to piece it all back together?
Can I return each grain to its former resting place?
Rewind through the blur of discomfort
And instead make certain it will hold fast?
Or is every trace of the beauty that once was
Truly lost forever?

I fear the latter is true
For, it wasn’t my lack of effort
That allowed each grain to so easily pass.
And, too, my persisting struggle alone
Can’t resurrect the past.
But instead of returning to some prior state,
Perhaps a flicker of possibility lies
Within those fallen fragments.
And soon, from them, a new glimmer will rise.

endurance

"Endurance is not just the ability to bear a hard thing,
but to turn it into glory."
- William Barclay

the push

I'm an introvert. Not just slightly, either. For anyone familiar with Myers-Briggs, I sway introversion v. extraversion 22/30.

It's not that I don't like social situations though. In fact, I love the concept of communication, and it's obviously embedded within such situations. Initially, I'm that shy person though - the one who doesn't call much attention to herself and feels a bit awkward at times. And, when I'm around extroverts, it's likely I won't even try to compete to get a word in. On the other hand, I've been told I'm a great presenter/public speaker/overall communicator.

So, I'm an introvert that loves communication. It sounds like an odd combo, I know. I questioned it myself, but then not too long ago, I got to talk to someone I respect and admire, who actually shares this combo, and that conversation has allowed me to embrace it.

In any event, this combo means that sometimes I need the push. Without it, I cling to my introvert ways. There's no telling what form the push takes, but once I get it, something magical happens, leading me into my communicating element.

All this to say to life, bring on the push...time and time again. I'll admit, I don't always like the push at first, but it is truly worth it in the end.

the waiting

splendor lies within the waiting
though patience is not always my forte
i realize this must first pass
for that to reach fruition

each moment of the waiting
readies me for what's to come
makes me stronger, wiser
reinforces the reflection

and the very realization
casts a smile in place of doubt
for in the waiting there is growth
that gives way to peace

happy easter

"The people living in darkness have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the shadow of death
a light has dawned."
- Matthew 4:16

hope

after night... dawn is there
- david crowder band

the winding path

The winding path that lies ahead,
Worn by others, but fresh to these feet,
That path does not fork merely into two:
Turn right and choose life, left and accept death.

No, that path instead forks a hundred times over,
Each branch marked not by absolute white or black,
But instead by intervening shades of gray,
Beckoning the adventurer who refuses to turn back.