finding my strength again

In discussions with other coaches, several folks have shared the strengths they’ve brushed aside or had trouble owning.

Fascinating, but I don’t have one of those.

At least, that’s what I told myself. Did my denial truly run that deep? How could I be so blind to the fact that my attempts to embrace the “go with the flow” LA culture have simultaneously stripped away something so inherently me – my talent for discipline?

I realize now that the term “discipline” seemed like some effort to kindly mask “rigid” and “stick up her ass.” So, I flocked instead to an opposite extreme – unstructured living. The problem is, though it may suit some folks, it doesn’t work for me. By restricting myself of use of my strength, albeit subconsciously, I found myself feeling incredibly weak. Deprived of my natural rhythm, I felt lost.

It’s been a needed reminder – while use of one’s strengths feels good, it does take work and intention. And yes, your strengths will often make you stand out in a crowd. Despite the necessary effort and vulnerability, it’s an investment that’s entirely worthwhile. When I actively harness my talent for creating structure, I feel powerful. I’m far more productive, insightful, helpful and creative.

How ‘bout you? Which strength are you brushing aside? What does it take to pick it back up?

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To explore your own talents more, consider using Gallup's fantastic StrengthsFinder tool. 

the resistance

The resistance likes to do some crafty things. When it infiltrates your mind, it accuses you of wrongdoing when you set and uphold personal priorities. To the resistance, the thought of you making real efforts to bring your greatest gift to the world is frightening. But to you, the thought of doing exactly that can and should birth excitement.

When you hear the voice that holds you back, laugh and move forward. Remind yourself that action that seeks to bring good to the world around you is worth pursuing. On the flipside, the inaction that the resistance likes to praise is a waste of potential. While it may shelter you from vulnerability, it merely withholds you from living out your creative intention.

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A few reads on the resistance: Stephen Pressfield (the man who coined the term) and Seth Godin (a man who should need no parenthetical reference).

can't not care

Some days, it’s easier to fall in line - pretend not to care and act as though you aren’t capable of making a difference.

Except, you still do care, and numbing your emotions only aggravates your desire to make a difference. That you’ve chosen not to act is irrelevant; the fact is, that desire is still there.

Better, I think, to heed the voice that tells you to care. Better to act in spite of the obstacle. Better to know that despite the outcome’s imperfections, you decided to dare.

dos and don'ts

[an assortment of observations]

Do take time to envision your future with great clarity. Be brave enough to guide your life according to that internal vision. 

Don't let obsession with perfection deprive you of experience within your journey.

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Do be open to change in structure as you gain deeper perspective. Be willing to widen your understanding and respect others' insights along your growth journey.

Don't fixate on others' steps of progress too deeply. Comparison's magnetism can drag you away from your core purpose. If you lack intention, it muddles your own life vision and goals.

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Do establish your own driving core values, and stay true to them. Establish reliable means of remaining accountable.

Don't impose your values on the lives of others. Instead, respect the unique set of values at their core.

summer

salty cookies

 

This stack of salty cookies is proof of opportunity - a chance to decide which chatter wins in my head.

See, the less-than-perfect flavor of these lovely things sent me spiraling into a shame storm post-baking. But, shame didn't endlessly reign. It wasn't automatic, but my thoughts shifted to a courageous refusal to let shame have the final word.

Now, they stand as a reminder to celebrate moments in which I choose to defy shame, embrace imperfection and unleash further creativity.

creative vulnerability

It’s oddly enticing - the allure of not shipping. Endless untapped ideas never intersect the world outside our control; they remain trapped within our own grasp. It seems like the safest route: constant perfecting, vulnerability absent.

Except, the other side of the equation weighs far too heavily. Unreleased creativity can eat you alive. 

"Unused creativity is not benign - it metastasizes. It turns into shame, grief, rage, judgment, sorrow... We are divine beings, by nature creative, but it gets lost along the way; it gets shamed out of us." - Brene Brown

Your creativity was meant to be shared not withheld. Yes, that equates to dancing directly with vulnerability.

No, creativity is never safe... but denial of your creativity is a far more dangerous thing. We ought never allow fear to suppress our creativity.