25

Growing older...

Yes, I made a birthday collage in my own honor. 

Here's to more creating-for-the-heck-of-it this year.

being me

Historically, I've spent a lot of time questioning the things that are authentically me. By measuring myself against others, I've made assumptions that something's wrong with... me.

Take my introversion, for instance. I used to feel guilty on those days when I found myself thinking – Honestly, I just want to read a book by the fire and sip some tea. No, I really don’t want to engage in a bunch of surfacy conversation at a party.

Or, consider my design work. I’d pour over super clean designs, trying to mimic them carefully, wondering – Why is this so difficult? Perhaps, this whole design thing really isn’t for me.

Lately, there’s been a shift, it seems. As I’ve learned more about my personality and my talents, I’ve given myself greater permission to let my internal compass guide me. I’ve found that I don’t need to spend all my energy apologizing for lack of what simply isn’t me. The things that are most natural – the introversion, the rustic designs, the intuitive way of perceiving the world around me – each of these has value. Each is a vital piece of what makes me – uniquely me. And, I've found – it's enthralling to lovingly give myself permission to simply be me.

2013

2013 will be a year of COURAGE...

   trusting in God's presence

   stepping beyond comfort

   acting in areas of uncertainty

   defying fear of failure and imperfection

   exercising increased self-compassion

   dreaming of a life and world far beyond me

the 5-second rule

I dropped a piece of lettuce on the kitchen floor as I prepped ingredients for a salad today. My internal dialogue about whether the 5-second rule should apply sounded a little something like this:

To toss or eat…? Just give it a good rinse, and I think you’re good to go. Think about it – this lettuce came from the farmers' market and straight from the soil before that. I’m starting to think I’m okay with a little natural impurity on the things I consume. I’d much rather that than manufactured chemicals containing who knows what. Besides, little kids touch EVERYTHING and eat all kinds of crap in the process. In fact, all that stuff they accidentally consume builds up their immune system. It’s interesting to think about how that works – not just in our health but all across our lives as well. Those bits of impurity and imperfection that we encounter actually strengthen our resilience. That’s a natural process of growth… a natural process of gaining character and becoming stronger individuals.

So, yeah, I ate the lettuce.

Some of you are sitting there ready to diagnose me with some sort of mental disorder, thinking -- Are you kidding me? You dropped a freaking piece of lettuce on the ground and that leads you to ponder the topic of resilience and character growth seconds later? Bunny trail, much?

And, there are others of you who often make similar mental leaps celebrating – HECK YES! Someone has some vague concept of the world inside my head!

The fact is – our distinct personalities predispose us to perceive the world around us in incredibly differing ways. 

This is more than merely an intangible notion that never reaches application, though. Next time you’re interacting with your friend, co-worker, spouse or boss and think that they are crazy, pause for a moment. Ask yourself – Might they simply have a fundamentally different personality? Could that account for their entirely different approach to this moment? How can I actively respect that part of who they are a bit more fully?

This might mean you need to leave room for solutions that are marked by mutual compromise and don't match your ideal game plan. Along the way, you may find that your inclination has been to attempt to force others to be more like you. But now, it's time to get real – their differing, innate personalities aren’t something you can change. Once you humbly accept that truth and instead get creative about ways to appreciate the differences and bridge the gap, life becomes a heck of a lot more rewarding. 

---
Dig Deeper: This post was inspired, of course by my red leaf lettuce, but also my MBTI Manual. Studying up on personality types the other day, I found myself blown away. It explains SO much... about me, the world inside my head, my relationships, the world inside everyone else's... This personality scoop is eye-opening, friends.

patience

Obsession with all things fast and immediate loses it's luster quite quickly. Our lives demand something far more sustainable, something far more satisfying.

[roasting golden beets from the farmers market]

foreboding joy

Foreboding joy tells me it can't be true --
those hopeful visions for the future will never come to be.

Foreboding joy says be wary of what lies ahead --
with any positive momentum, there's bound to be a harsh dose of reality.

Foreboding joy tells me to dwell in the disappointment now --
better to dash to the painful emotions before they surprise me.

But, foreboding joy, I'm done buying it --
My life will no longer be defined by your limiting story.


[Hear more about foreboding joy as described by Brene Brown here.]

feedback

Not too long ago, I partook in a small yet mighty exercise - ask four people for feedback on your life. Simple and completely open-ended. Two of them received advance notice. The other two simply discussed it on the spot.

The result in each case? An awakening of rich conversation with family and friends. Laughter. Tears. Powerful bits of insight strengthened my sense of self and my relationships.

Now, I'm actively making this a regular practice within my life and aim to encourage others to do the same. Give it a shot, and be sure to have a pen and notebook at the ready. I can assure you, meaningful conversation will ensue.