"A few weeks ago I was helping a girl in the store and I tossed a pink polka dot scarf her way. She looked at me bewildered and said, "what do I do with this?" I spouted out a few different ways she could wear the scarf, one being with a striped shirt or a floral shirt. She said "I can do that?!" all the way keeping her big eyes on the suspect: the polka dot scarf. I assured her that she can certainly mix that scarf with anything she darn well felt like mixing it with. Because really -- who is going to stop her? If she liked it, then she should wear it. Isn't that what personal style is after all?" 

-                                                           -from Kendi Everyday

The timid approach the gal in the shop takes toward personal style is more familiar to us than we realize.

In our lives and businesses, we look elsewhere for direction.

What am I allowed to say or do? What are the rules? What does the market want from me?

With that perspective, we take actions too heavily influenced by others. We begin to look a little more like everyone else and a little less like ourselves.

But, there’s a separate route to true differentiation. It’s a conversation that begins the moment you stop looking outside for direction and start allowing your own compass be your guide. And, when you let someone coach you through the process, it feels a bit like that moment you’re told the scarf can be worn absolutely any way you want.

ownership

I’ve read a few too many articles and books on happiness. There’s a common point most make somewhere in the discussion – levels of personal happiness are largely influenced by one’s perspective.

What does that mean? Instead of complaining about a roadblock, you should reframe it as an opportunity, extracting the value that lies within it.

I hate that. Don’t you?

It means we have to stop pointing the finger elsewhere. It means we have to own up to the fact that even if that roadblock vanished overnight, contentment would not suddenly be delivered on a silver platter. That transition requires ownership, not blame.

That notion is a big pill to swallow, but, in truth, we should welcome it. It means we can actively improve our lives through our daily choices. If you ask me, that’s pretty empowering.

"Enjoy the process rather than get all worked up about the tiniest of details."
- David Lebovitz

increments of change

Everything doesn’t have to change all at once. The incremental steps of progress are in themselves things of beauty, embedded with tremendous growth of character.

Don’t expect overnight transformation in life. Be at peace with pursuit of steps toward change. You’ll gain wisdom along that patient path.

observing strengths

Have you ever been in a meeting where the presenter was… no good? Amidst persistent stuttering and lack of confidence, you could see - the role simply wasn’t natural.

We can pretty easily gauge whether an individual is operating within his or her strengths. Yet, why are we apt to run organizations that place people in roles that don't align with personal strengths?

Mobilize your observations:

• Before you hire someone, pay attention to whether his strengths match up with the intended responsibilities.
• When scanning job boards, filter out positions that won't engage your personal strengths.
• When managing people, be flexible and encourage exploration of ways to put true strengths to use.

the university tweet

“International experience looks great on resumes.”

These are direct words from the twitter feed of a university career center. The tweet skips over qualities like growth and perspective to hand the emphasis to the resume.

The problem?

In our subtle decisions, we’re encouraging future generations to value resumes over attributes of real personal development. We're training a workforce lacking fulfillment and meaning.

While I'm guessing the career center didn’t think that deep into their tweet, maybe they should have.

And though it's likely we don’t analyze our every word either

...perhaps we should.

stick to your guns

Goal setting can get a bad wrap. Many people express that goals and values are total BS.

Rightfully so.

Without a sense of accountability, goals are BS. If you bother to take the time to define your goals and values, but fail to stay true to them, you’re wasting time and energy.

When you stick to your guns, however, you’re a force with which to be reckoned.

Commit to your goals:

• Say no to the client or project that doesn’t match your desired portfolio of work. Take action to attract those that do.
• Turn down the good job. Pursue the one that uses your greatest strengths.
• Surround yourself with people who will keep you in check.