endurance

"Endurance is not just the ability to bear a hard thing,
but to turn it into glory."
- William Barclay

the push

I'm an introvert. Not just slightly, either. For anyone familiar with Myers-Briggs, I sway introversion v. extraversion 22/30.

It's not that I don't like social situations though. In fact, I love the concept of communication, and it's obviously embedded within such situations. Initially, I'm that shy person though - the one who doesn't call much attention to herself and feels a bit awkward at times. And, when I'm around extroverts, it's likely I won't even try to compete to get a word in. On the other hand, I've been told I'm a great presenter/public speaker/overall communicator.

So, I'm an introvert that loves communication. It sounds like an odd combo, I know. I questioned it myself, but then not too long ago, I got to talk to someone I respect and admire, who actually shares this combo, and that conversation has allowed me to embrace it.

In any event, this combo means that sometimes I need the push. Without it, I cling to my introvert ways. There's no telling what form the push takes, but once I get it, something magical happens, leading me into my communicating element.

All this to say to life, bring on the push...time and time again. I'll admit, I don't always like the push at first, but it is truly worth it in the end.

the waiting

splendor lies within the waiting
though patience is not always my forte
i realize this must first pass
for that to reach fruition

each moment of the waiting
readies me for what's to come
makes me stronger, wiser
reinforces the reflection

and the very realization
casts a smile in place of doubt
for in the waiting there is growth
that gives way to peace

happy easter

"The people living in darkness have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the shadow of death
a light has dawned."
- Matthew 4:16

hope

after night... dawn is there
- david crowder band

the winding path

The winding path that lies ahead,
Worn by others, but fresh to these feet,
That path does not fork merely into two:
Turn right and choose life, left and accept death.

No, that path instead forks a hundred times over,
Each branch marked not by absolute white or black,
But instead by intervening shades of gray,
Beckoning the adventurer who refuses to turn back.

indecision

The wheels of the cart vibrated down the cereal aisle, generating an annoying humming noise. Suddenly, a stop. Wheaties? Nah. Raisin Bran? Well, maybe, but Raisin Bran is too much like the other bran cereal I just had. Did I buy Shredded Oats too recently? Cheerios might work, I guess...

I live life in a state of indecisiveness a lot, and not just in the realm of groceries. The thought of choosing - be it a small-scale purchase decision or a larger-scale decision of life direction - often paralyzes me. Fear haunts me, considering the very real possibility of choosing "wrong."

But then I know not all decisions are so black and white as I make them out to be. Why then do I allow the fear to consume me? The most damaging part of it all is the immobilization it spawns within me. I don't take enough chances or risks because it seems I'd rather play it safe than face the possibility of choosing wrong.

I don't know where to go in the future. I find myself wrestling a lot. But, I need to get over the decision-making process and realize that the real life trial and error is okay. In fact, it's good. Hypothetical situations get you nowhere in the shadow of actual experience. So, may I be confident wherever I go, whatever path I take... because there isn't right or wrong in these realms. There is simply opportunity waiting to be seized.